Thank you, Dr. Angelou

I am woman,
phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I read the poem at least three times today. It's hard to feel bad about yourself when hearing words of empowerment and strength and beauty and grace.

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground

Damn damn damn damn.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Not supposed to like this much.

Damn.

As a cool side benefit, though, I'm pretty well hooked up with Krispy Kreme now.

Honey, it's how ya makin money boys call ya hell on high heels

It's almost time to go. So it's almost time to make a call for advice. Hoorah.

I went to a chiropractor today and got an adjustment, among other things. I don't quite feel fully better, but that's to come soon enough. I have a massage scheduled on Wednesday.

I also have dinner scheduled. It will be exciting -- my first dinner guest in Melbourne. I'm thrilled, but I have a lot of cleaning to do.

Still, though, I'm avoiding things. Well, not entirely, that's what the phone call is for. But I just don't know what to do. Can't I just put everybody in a blender, or remake a boy with clay or something?

When is the right time to call? Not in the Tomcats, three days sense, but how long is too long? I'm walking a tight rope with two right now. It's consuming me. I need to get out of my damn head.

At least I'm wearing cute shoes. Picture those in a light grey.

You can ring my bell

I just made a big mistake. I answered the phone after midnight.

I was nice as long as I could be. I hung up on the crazy man, but not without lots of "sir, I cannot answer your question. Sir, I'm hanging up the phone now. Sir, I cannot help you and you need to call back Monday morning. Sir, I will hang up the phone."

This is why I have ignored the phone for three months. The boss gave me permission to hang up on people. I can't quite do that -- I consider it rude -- so I'll just make sure I never pick up calls after midnight. Or maybe after the lottery call at 11:20 p.m.

And the sign says long-haired freaky people need not apply

Dear Red,
Here is your horoscope for Saturday, September 15:

You need to slow down a bit and use your best judgment when confronted with new arrangements of any kind. Your instincts are strong right now, but they may be crowded out by too much information.

So very true for what's happened this weekend.

Gimme gimme

So the newsdesk just took a break to watch Britney make a fool of herself once again. I haven't laughed so hard in a while. She was obviously lip synching. She was more concerned with her hair than her dance moves, which would have suited her well in an indie dance club, but not on the VMA show. She has become a pathetic shadow of her former self.

I especially loved the audience shots of the other stars watching and so blatantly thinking "WTF is she doing?"

Boy oh, that was good for a laugh.

There's nothing like living in a bottle

Well, I haven't felt like this in a while. Dizzy, barely able to stand up feeling as though I no longer have intestines, let alone anything in them -- yep, I was a bit of a party girl last night. It was fun. But I again stayed too long. I crawled into work and luckily it's a slow Sunday.

Other good news: I went to see a therapist in town, who told me I don't need therapy. (THat was part of the reason I went, the not knowing if I should.) It was pretty cool - she said congratulations, you've graduated out of therapy. You have a good grasp of yourself.

We have a new copy editor starting tomorrow. He's moving from D.C. -- inside the District -- and is young and single and works on my schedule. No, this is not an insinuation of us getting together; I don't date coworkers. This is totally awesome because there is someone on the desk who might like to hang out with other young singles and who doesn't get off work until 12:30 a.m. I just have to be careful not to decide he's my BFF and overwhelm the kid. I can see the potential because I'm so damn excited about him working here.

Question: Which is the greatest news publication ever: The Onion or Weekly World News? Why?