Tomorrow begins my first Melbourne-based weekend in a while. OK, so technically I was here two weeks ago, but I was carless. And broke.
I think this will be the fourth weekend I've stayed at the new home since moving 12 weeks ago. That's the bad part about being in-state; Jax is only a few hours away. The ride deflates my butt but being there renews my spirit. Yep, I'm homesick.
In addition to Actionville, I've gone to Camp Blanding/Orange Park (a real happening place), St. Petersburg and The District of Columbia. It's been nice, sure, but I'm ready to decompress. The last month has been especially tough with a four-time weekend visitor. (I'm glad for the visit, don't get me wrong; I just miss my own quiet space.)
At the same time, though, all that noise went away, mostly, on Sunday, and now my inner voice is screaming. It's been on mute for a long time. In a way, I'm glad it's screaming, because I can actually hear and understand it.
Like remembering that I really want to work at The Oxford American literary magazine and study at Ole Miss's College of Southern Studies and Culture. And live in Buenos Aires and travel throughout Europe. And rehabilitate a Craftsman- or Prairie-style house. And that literature is my first love.
And that I love museums and galleries and the like; I spent most of my alone time in St. Pete in the downtown galleries. By the way, I'm in love with that city and its Kenwood neighborhood. I'd love to live there and work at the Times, and some time live in The District and work at The Post or USA Today or whichever paper. Or maybe a book publisher.
I've taken some photos recently and they've been OK; I want to get reacquainted with my camera and do better. (Yes, I'm still shooting with film.)
And what about my heart? I don't know. I want something to last, as long as it's right for me. I'm beginning to think I'll never find that. I want a close friend to hold and comfort and be comforted by. How do I find that when I don't get out much outside of work? When I'm working as others are going out? I don't mind my work schedule, though sometimes I wish I could get a Friday or Saturday off on short notice.
I'm the alternate for a community-wide spelling bee tomorrow. Yes, I'm extremely disappointed that I'm merely the alternate. My best efforts at convincing the woman in charge to put me on the team did not work. But -- maybe I'll meet some people there. Perhaps I'll get a phone number, and not just for a potential date, but for plain old friends.
I'm so lonesome I could cry. Why can't Greysa be a person?
OK, enough of this wallowing. This was supposed to be an interesting post, not one mired in self-pity.
***
In other news, I bought my first copy of the Weekly World News today. Of course, it's the final print publication. But I thought I'd make one of my journalism professors proud. She always uses examples from WWN in her AP style quizzes.
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1 comment:
I've been somewhat homesick lately, too. Unfortunately for me, Jacksonville isn't just a few hours away.
At first I thought it would be liberating to be in a city where I know two out of 4 million people. And the fact that Boston is so damn awesome has been a nice distraction. But at night, when the sidewalks roll up and the T shuts down, stranding me in the center of this concrete and brick jungle, it can get awfully lonely.
Sometimes I walk down to Chinatown, which is the only part of Boston that's still hopping after 2 a.m., and where a request for a pot of "magic tea" yields a kettle of cold beer. (Illegal, of course.)
Walking those streets among the half-drunk partygoers, the late-night workers and owls like myself, I would give almost anything to see a familiar face. Soon enough, I suppose. I just ache for company until then.
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