Checked both your sign and mine in the back of the New York Post

The stars were spot-on over the weekend.

Saturday, October 27:

You need to open your mind or heart just a wee bit more to that new person or idea. Somehow, it's right for you, even if it might not be exactly what you had in mind. Things can change for the better.

Friday, October 26:

You are more in touch with your home than you have been in quite some time and you may want to try spending more time there, if possible. If there're any chores you've put off, now is the time to tackle them.

And so I cry somethimes when I'm lying in bed just to get it all out what's in my head

The best financial story I've read in a while

Of course; it's from the Times. It's not so much that it's about rich people and their money. It reminds me of a quote I heard a year or so ago that has stuck with me: "If rich people spent money the way poor people think they do, they wouldn't be rich." At first, I didn't know how that worked, but I understood the meaning. This article helps me get a peek. It's so good I printed it and will use it as a guide.

Plus, it reminds of what good journalism looks like.

(By the way, thanks to all for the comments and encouragement in my last money-related post. I started to feel better just reading those! And yes, I am stronger. I just needed a reminder.)

***

The weekend was lovely. Miss Holly Golightly was escorted about town by the debonair Mister Harry Caray. Few people recognized either of us, unfortunately, but we had a dashing time nonetheless. Photographs to come when madame downloads and uploads and burns and carries and all. Don't look for them for a while, in fact.

***

We're running a big series this week about a poor, blighted neighborhood. Surely it will win awards it doesn't deserve, thanks to the intense editing of the copy desk. And we'll never get any recognition. That's OK, except that those on the metro side will believe it's because of them that it's so great. Oh well. Another day in paradise.

"One of the great things about being a copy editor is freedom from the vulgar desire for public recognition."

***

The fellow behind Mr. Caray is quite nice and darling. Smart, funny, likes to cook, sing and dance. Brought soup and chocolate cake when I wasn't feeling well today. How delightful!

Today's songs include: 4 Non Blondes' "What's Going On," The Pixies' "Where is my Mind," Elvis Presley's "All Shook Up." It's been a strange day. I've had vertigo of faculties other than balance: I read things wrong, don't see stuff that's there, can't speak clearly. Weird.

The more you suffer the more it shows you really care

Do you ever feel like you have no control over your life? Like no matter what you try, how much you plan, it will always come undone?

I don't simply mean the crazy, unexpected things in life, like a car axle breaking or a bridge collapsing. I'm talking about in the simple, macroscopic, worm's view minutiae of life.

Like when you get paid and you think, hm, I wonder if I'll have enough to pay all the bills. Because you a) don't have a budget or b) use it halfway or c) "know that some crazy shit will come up because it always does."

Or You walk into a store and think, I wonder if I'll walk out with empty hands.

Maybe lack of control isn't the right way to express it. Or maybe that's perfect: Maybe it's a lack of self control.

How do you deal with this? (Please, no "just talk yourself out of it," because that hasn't worked yet.)

Thanks.

I'm on your side and so alive it isn't real

Sometimes it's good to review yesterday's horoscope when it turned out to be a good day. What do you know?

Your heart is going to leap at some point today, but you should make sure that you keep your wits about you as you respond to the stimulus. You can make things work to your advantage, but only by using your head.

Hm. So far, so good. Accurate. How nice.

Going to Jacksonville last week seems to have duplicative benefits. It's better than spa treatment.

Oh, Ryan. I can't get your words out of my head. Maybe -- maybe, if I don't let myself get carried away -- it will actually be worth it this time.

Maybe that was your first mistake

In a story ...

The participants could choose food or the chance to read a newspaper as a reward.

Istanbul was Constantinople, now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople

PONTE VEDRA BEACH -- Hello from (slightly outside of) Jacksonville! It's my second night here and I'd have checked many more things off my to do list had I not been sick this morning. Ah well. A great night at The Pearl is better than anything.

My baby bro and I went to our favorite bar and killed the place. I was so happy to be there; I was smiling the whole night and admiring all the new stuff on the walls. The DJ played everything I requested and gave me a whole list of music to find.

The craziest thing was that one of the bartenders -- who's been serving me beer since late 2002 -- told my brother, a friend of his, that I'm hot. Really? All of a sudden? After nearly five years? Maybe it was the smile. Maybe it was the black pants, black tank and grey heels. Whatever. He kept saying things like, "Josh, mind if I'm your brother-in-law" and asking me if I'd like to move to Oregon. It was ... interesting. The part that still blows me away is that I've "known" this guy longer than my brother has. Hell, I introduced Josh to the bar!

The only downside was that when we left, someone had broken into Josh's car. He called the insurance company and I called the cops. And I went back inside for water, whereupon the DJ told me it's a bad neighborhood. I replied, "it's coming back, it's not as bad as it used to be, oh, and I used to live around here. Don't start with me about the dangers of the neighborhood."

I crashed at my brother's house, so very happy with sore feet from dancing like crazy to beautiful indie music.

Today, instead of driving around Jax to do my 10,000 errands, I slept, puked, slept, and finally awoke to pack up dishes, crystal, and random other things to take back to Melly. Mom's going to be a travel nurse, if she can ever get the contract together. And maybe by Turkey Day I'll have the money to get all my future furniture!

Maybe, too, at Thanksgiving I'll hit the Pearl three nights instead of one. Oh, wait, maybe I have to adjust the beer intake. Or the meds. Or whatever. Must get my indie fix!!!

And with the last breath we ever take we're gonna get back to the simple life again

Well that just took some of the thrill out of it. But it's totally awesome nonetheless!

Audrey Costumes Here!

Cigarette holder for $7, and I don't have to search all over town? Get out!

You say the world has come between us

I tried on my black dresses last night. I won't wear the one I referred to in the previous post, but probably will wear the other one. It's not flattering, for some reason, but I have some ideas on how to fix that. At least it's long enough without being too long.

I'm so excited about Halloween! Mr. Social Secretary knows I have the night off and knows to keep me informed on what the plan is. While in Jax this week, I want to hit up some of the consignment and antiques stores for lovely pearls. Also, I've been viewing photos of Ms. Hepburn as Miss Golightly online for inspiration, and will print some to carry with me while shopping.

Dear Jim Thomsen, if you ever get caught up with my blog, I know you will be SHOCKED and AMAZED that I will dress for Halloween as a character portrayed by Audrey Hepburn.



Still cannot remember all those divine little posts. I need to write them down next time they come to mind.

In other news, Jr and I met for lunch today. It's the first time in -- weeks? months? -- a while that I've gotten up at 12:30. Hell, gotten up before 2:30. Old Navy is having a big sale. Must be careful not to go overboard! Only one pair of jeans! One pair of khakis!

I'm also looking forward to picking up my film, slides and diopter later this week. Hooray for my spiffy news series!

And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

So what do you plan to be for Halloween?

I'm thinking of Holly Golightly. One thing holding me back, though, is whether I want to wear my black dress. It's nice, a little big, though. It has a small train on the back. Perfectly Holly.

But do I want to wear that to a Halloween Street Party, with lots of drunk people and spilled alcohol and dirt?

Well, I bought it in 1998. And I know I've worn it once. Maybe twice.

Maybe I shouldn't be so stuck on it getting dirty. It's not getting much wear.

Now I just need to find long black gloves, fabulous pearl and diamond costume jewelry, and, most importantly, a cigarette holder.

Or I could go with Holly from the opening sequence, with a croissaint and coffee. Or I could get this from Fred Flare and do an all-movie thing.



I truly do want to get a sleep mask, though. The sunlight coming in at 8:30 a.m. is why I have interrupted sleep, I bet.

I know I won't be leaving here with you

Another blog composed in my head and forgotten at work. So here's some other stuff.

Jr. and I hung out for a while last night. (Jr. is my handle for the new kid on the desk.) We tried to get to a downtown bar I've wanted to visit, but the bouncer wouldn't let us in at 1:29 a.m. So we walked around downtown and talked.

There were some boys at the Pita Pit and we made some brief conversation while watching the NLCS, then Jr. and I left. The boys left soon after and I really thought they'd stop and talk. One was quite cute. It's funny, the more we're together, the less I am physically attracted to him. I guess I'm successfully convincing myself that I don't date co-workers. Or I see him as my Jr/brother type. Or something. Anyway, we split at 4:15 a.m.

As for the FsansWB, well ... We shared a late pizza a few nights ago. We got to talking some and it was nice and friend-like. But he said something while we were on the phone that has pretty well sealed the deal in terms of me ever being interested again.

There's this softball team. At first, I had no desire to play, as I'm not very good at catching, throwing or hitting. Then, after watching the team for a few weeks, I thought I might like to join. It seemed like a fun way to get active. This is a co-ed team, and at least three females must be on the team, otherwise you get an out each time the third female would have bat. Well, I was informed that this particular team will never have more than three "girls" play at once, because the team is *that* competitive. In a co-ed league.

Anyone who knows me -- and granted, few of the readers do -- can imagine the look on my face when I heard this. So I think I'll stop attending games altogether. I'm well on my way, since I didn't go this week because of a bad phone call that got me all worked up, and next week, I'll be in Jacksonville. Now, it's also possible only FsWB and his roommate know about this plan. But I think the female who started the team would be upset to know this, and the female who owns the store that sponsors the team might also be surprised.

One more thing. When I missed the softball game this week, two people were concerned and asked why I wasn't there. Neither of them was the guy I got hung up on.

I've really not had much desire to call him or see him or anything. That's a good feeling. I think I'm coming to my senses.

Now if I could just cut out the screaming woman who wants to be held ....

*Edited one time for possible bad move*

Monday you could fall apart, Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

When I'm at home, I think of lots of things to blog about. When I'm at work (and have Internet access), I forget everything.

In the last few weeks, I've taken on more responsibility at work. I'm now designing inside wire pages. This week, I'm working on state pages four of five days.

Tonight was rough. Maybe because I had the curmudgeonly fellow on my back. It's so hard to work with him. I think it's a generational difference in work style and criticism style. But in any event, I always reach a point in the night when I want to kill him. It came earlier than normal tonight.

The thing I hate about taking on new work is the slowness everything gets. I suddenly feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I change things throughout the night. I can't get things to work right. I get started later and later, and rush to finish and can't get it done without lots of help. And I don't get to edit and write headlines.

In other news, though, later this week I'll be going out on the town with a reporter friend. We both need to move on from our obsessions and find new, mature, males who are worthy of our attention. And wouldn't you know, today I saw somebody in the newsroom who is incredibly handsome. We have totally opposite schedules. I don't even know who he's under in the newsroom, whether it's opinion or watchlist or what. But he's hot. And I don't date co-workers. Hm.

And I also need not get into obsessions. Why do it? Effin A. I don't think I want a boyfriend, until I think about how nice it would be to talk to someone regularly who cares about my work day (at least enough to let me vent), cares about my dreams, holds me tight when I feel bad, loves my cat, my cat loves him, who'll make me dinner and let me spoil him, who wants to spend time with me and doesn't care how many medications I take. Who just supports me and loves me. Yeah, I want a boyfriend.

Al Green said it best: I'm so tired of being alone. And that's just it. I feel alone. Maybe if I didn't feel alone and isolated, I wouldn't feel this need for a boyfriend. But the other side is: Why fight the urge? I know I want to have a long-term relationship someday, I know I want to have kids someday; if today's the first day (of my life, thanks Bright Eyes), why not let it be (thanks Beatles). Hm, how long can I keep up the music lines?

I'm tired. I'll stop now. Any advice from my two readers?